While flipping through the pages of a book my eyes glued to one statement that read, “I dont hate you. I’m just disappointed you turned into everything you said you would never be”. This line might seem an ordinary one but when you excavate deep into the meanings you realize it portrays the pain, betrayal, bleeds and despair of a broken heart. Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair. In cases of Acquaintance rape and Date rape the trust factor loses its value forever.
In both the cases the perpetrator is not a complete stranger to the survivor and this is the probable reason why most of the rape survivors find it extremely difficult to even identify the horrific experience that they had to go through. The proximity of the relationship also plays a key role as closer the relationship with the perpetrator the greater is the survivor’s shock. Self-blame is yet another recurring response from the survivors leading into non-disclosure of the incident. If this is struggle is not enough, the survivors have to deal with physical, emotional and psychological burdens of betrayal and fear of the encountering their perpetrator in future.Most of the victims find this betrayal of trust hard to believe and end up mistrusting others in life.
No one deserves to be raped. If a guy is spending on a gift or an expensive dinner for a woman, it does not mean she is under an implied obligation to payback to him by having sex. A woman’s dress is not her consent to have sex. Likewise it is difficult to understand who the rapists are. Rapists do not come with a chit (bearing their intention to rape) on their respective foreheads. The responsibility of both the men and the women is Prevention. Stigmatizing the victims is the readily available defense for the rapists. Detecting a person who will rape is difficult. A few characteristics can be a sign of trouble. Emotional intimidation through belittling comments, sulking, projecting coercive tendencies, inability to handle sexual and emotional frustration, physical intimidation by blocking doorway or physical startling, extreme drinking can serve as a warning. Awareness is the key and can accelerate quick decision making during problematic situations.
I shall conclude my article with a beautiful quote by George Macdonald that states “To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved”. This is universally applicable to both men and women.