Every traumatic situation can leave deep marks from which it can be very hard to recover. A survivor of rape or assault will have to deal with several psychological difficulties such as Depression and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Victim’s romantic partners play the most important role in their recovery and must be very careful to behave according to her needs.
It is important to respect her time and never force her to talk about what happened. Instead, wait for her to be ready and, when she is, listen in a positive way that makes her feel comfort. It is common that rape victims feel guilt and partners must emphasize that they do not agree with that. Never argue with her. Console her and make sure to tell her that it is not her fault.
After she is able to talk, the next step should be taken. It will be time to go back to the normal life. In this phase, she will need support, but she does not need to be treated with pity. It is not uncommon to suffer from relapses or recurrences. She may feel lack of strength and depression. Do not consider this as a step back. Help her go through it maintaining calm and supportive, always listening to what she wants to say.
Recovery is a long process and the victim’s partner must always be there for her. Make sure to be serene and not to blame the victim. Following these steps, you will both be in the right path to live happy again.
We have become so desensitized to the occurrence of sexual assault and rape that it can cause even the best of us to fall into the trap of believing that these actions are simply part of the norm, and that females, individuals who are merely doomed to be the predominant victims, must always keep their actions in check to somehow prevent it from happening. This mindset in which the victim is at fault for their own violation is aptly known as victim blaming, and is more subconsciously present than many realize.
From a very young age, women are taught that male violence against them is warranted and inevitable should they fall out of line with an unspoken list of expected behaviors. Young girls are scolded for wearing “skimpy,” “revealing,” and “tight fitting” outfits. Young women are warned to never walk home alone at night, or if they do so, to carry some form of defense with them. They are told to check their words and behaviors should they “lead on” or send mixed signals. Women are told to never leave their drinks unattended, and to never be alone in a room with someone if you don’t “want something to happen.”
They are taught to live in a constant state of fear of not only the possibility of assault, but the consequences regarding the implication of being a victim of sexual assault. It is the victim who is blamed because this mindset and its accompanying rhetoric has subconsciously become the norm. It’s a way of speaking and behaving that society always and unquestionably teaches, therefore desensitizing people, regardless of who they are, to it.
We need to wake up, to become conscious of what we say and how we behave, if we truly believe that sexual assault is the atrocity we claim it to be. Because sexual assault, the act of rape, is not normal. Rape is something that people should not accept as part of a societal norm. It is not something that people should become desensitized to. To become desensitized is to disregard the experiences of those who underwent the trauma and who will live with the memory.