How Partners Can Support a Sexual Assault Survivor
When someone experiences sexual assault, the emotional and psychological effects can be profound and long-lasting. If your partner is a survivor, your support can play a crucial role in their healing journey. While you can’t erase their pain, you can provide comfort, understanding, and a sense of safety. Here’s how you can be a strong, compassionate partner during this process.
- Listen Without Judgment
One of the most powerful things you can do is simply listen. Let your partner share their thoughts and emotions at their own pace. Avoid asking too many questions or pressing for details—they will open up when they feel safe. Instead, use affirming responses like:
- “I believe you.”
- “I’m here for you.”
- “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Your role is to provide a safe space, free of pressure or expectations.
- Validate Their Feelings
Survivors of sexual assault often experience a wide range of emotions, including anger, sadness, fear, and shame. Reassure your partner that whatever they are feeling is valid. Remind them that their assault was not their fault and that their emotions are a natural part of the healing process.
- Be Patient with Intimacy
Trauma can affect a survivor’s relationship with physical intimacy. Your partner may feel disconnected, anxious, or even fearful about sexual contact. Respect their boundaries and let them take the lead in defining what feels safe. Communicate openly and remind them that intimacy is not an expectation—it’s about their comfort and emotional well-being.
- Encourage Professional Support
Healing from trauma is a complex process, and professional therapy or support groups can be incredibly helpful. Gently encourage your partner to seek help from a counselor or therapist who specializes in trauma. Let them know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
- Educate Yourself About Trauma
The more you understand the impact of sexual assault, the better you can support your partner. Learn about PTSD, triggers, and coping mechanisms. This knowledge will help you navigate difficult moments with greater empathy and patience.
- Be a Safe and Steady Presence
Survivors often struggle with trust after an assault. Show your commitment by being reliable, honest, and consistent. Even small actions—like keeping your word, showing up when you say you will, and respecting their needs—help rebuild their sense of security.
- Avoid Pressuring Them to “Move On”
Healing doesn’t happen on a set timeline. Some days will be easier, and setbacks are part of the process. Instead of trying to “fix” things, focus on being a supportive presence. Let your partner know their healing is important to you, no matter how long it takes.
- Take Care of Yourself Too
Supporting a survivor can be emotionally challenging. Make sure you have your own support system—whether it’s a therapist, trusted friend, or support group. Taking care of yourself allows you to be a better partner for them.
- Stand Up Against Sexual Violence
Show your support not only in your relationship but also in your community. Advocate for survivors, support organizations like the Leila Grace Foundation*, and educate others about consent and respect. Being an ally strengthens the movement to end sexual violence.
Final Thoughts
Loving and supporting a sexual assault survivor requires patience, understanding, and empathy. By being present, respectful, and informed, you can help your partner navigate their healing journey in a way that empowers them. Remember, you are not expected to have all the answers—just being there, believing them, and standing beside them is enough.
If you or someone you love needs resources, the Leila Grace Foundation is here to help. You are not alone.